Canada’s favourite satirical newspaper
Apple unveils single-use Macbook with zero ports
“…The new device, retailing at $2,999 CAD, comes loaded with a 16.2-inch Liquid Retina XDR display, Apple M1 Pro Chip, and a fully-charged battery that lasts only 11 hours, after which the device becomes unusable…”
“How do we make baseball more exciting?” asks only
sport with mandatory stretch break
NEW YORK – This weekend, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred held an emergency meeting to discuss how the league could reignite viewer interest in the intensely long and excruciatingly slow-paced sport of baseball …
Vaccine passport wasted on Mr. Sub
… “It’s not good,” said Berger, between bites of a sandwich that can only be marketed as ‘assorted.’ …
Doug Ford to reopen high schools after pressure from vodka cooler lobby
… “While many businesses have been struggling as a result of the current emergency order, the makers of vodka coolers, cotton candy JUUL pods, and Visine have been disproportionately affected by the lack of socialization between 17-year-olds.” …